Penny's Worth of Thoughts: January 2012

Now I don't know how it has been for you, but in Bible college I always heard, practically every chapel, that "life and responsibility and ministry will be thrust upon you before you know it. You will look back to your college days and wish that you had as much free time as you did then, because life will be so much busier. And it will happen fast! Faster than you think!" For many of my classmates, that may very well have been true, but not for me.

For me after getting settled into a new job, new city, new life after college actually meant I slowed down. A LOT. Even now almost three years after graduation, I work full-time, work a couple days a week at a second job, serve in several ministries at church, and still somehow wind up with more free time than I ever had in college. This unexpected slower pace brought it's own challenges.

The biggest unexpected challenge that I faced then and still face now is the question, "So now what?" Until graduation from college there had always been a very obvious goal that I was headed towards - graduation. Once everything calmed down after that, the move was made, the new job started, etc., the great calm settled in.

For the first time in my life, the future spread out before me entirely unmapped. I found myself in the middle of a calm sea with no land in sight, no specific goal to head towards, just smooth, still water barely even lapping against the sides of the boat. The bright blue sky above was cloudless except for the fluffy white clouds that formed the words, "Now what?" The words hung there in the horizon as I looked around at the still water and felt like I was going nowhere.

There are simply going to be times in our lives when things get calm. And it usually occurs right after a major victory, a great trial, or immediately following the accomplishment of a major goal in life (like graduation from college, settling into a new city and/or job). After the struggles that come with fighting for a victory, surviving trials, or in the wake of accomplishment, the calm can seem ... well... boring. While the calm can certainly be a relief especially at first, over time it can also become tame, routine, mundane, blah.

What's the next step? What happens now? What goal am I headed for now? What does the future hold? Is this IT? Is this all life is? Is this life going to be my life forever? These are some of the many questions that calm can produce.

I still remember a message from the first week of my senior year of college. I don't remember who was preaching, but what they said stuck with me. The Bible says, "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." Whenever the future looks unclear, uncertain, or dark and clouded with mystery, God promises to light our way if we follow His Word. But it doesn't say that it's a searchlight flooding our future five miles down the road with light and clarity. It says "lamp." Like a flashlight that we shine at our feet, it gives just enough light to see the next step down the road. We will never see further until we take the one step that we can see. After that, the next step will come into the light and we can take that one step.

This begs the question, when life is calm and there don't seem to be any major steps to take, what steps are we to take from day to day? This is what has been on my mind for the past couple of weeks. I have heard many times that if you do God's known will day by day, He will reveal His unknown will in His time. (Kinda like the flashlight...) So more specifically, I have been thinking about what I know to be His will for me right now, day by day.

These are things that I know He desires out of my life right now.

That I spend time daily with Him reading His Word and praying.
That I "forsake not the assembly" by attending and serving in the ministries of my church.
That I spread the Gospel, both to strangers I meet along my way and those who I see everyday.
That I work to earn the money to provide for my needs, doing my best to glorify Him in the process by having a good testimony with my coworkers, employers, and creditors (those to whom I pay my bills).
That I be a good steward of money, time, and other resources by tithing, giving to missions, being sure that necessary work is done before relaxing (i.e. not being lazy), having productive hobbies, and being a blessing with the things I have whenever possible.
That I be a good steward of the body He has given me by eating the right amounts of healthy foods, exercising, getting the proper amount of sleep, etc.
That I continue to prepare for the future by continuously learning and reading books and articles that will be helpful, encouraging, informative, etc.
That I fellowship with people who will help sharpen me and encourage my growth in the Lord.
That I focus on pleasing Him, not my own personal pleasure.
That I remain thankful and praise Him, not taking for granted the virtually countless blessings He has given me.
That my speech be "alway with grace" saying holy, encouraging, edifying words rather than gossip, malice, or criticism.
That I would be patient and loving toward those who frustrate me and/or in times of frustration, no matter if they "deserve" it.
That I both memorize and meditate on His Word throughout my day.

To be honest, that list is really, really convicting to me. And though I am very sure that it is still incomplete, it already gives me plenty to work on.

I am learning to patiently tackle the "right now's" one day at a time,

leaving the "now what's" to Him,

having faith that He will show me the steps I need to take in His time.

I don't know who wrote this poem, but a friend shared it on Facebook and I fell in love with it. I have seen similar ones before, but this one seems to really, truly capture how I personally feel about being a Christian.

I am a Christian