Lies! Lies! They're All LIES!

When you are still single in your twenties or thirties, there are certain struggles that just come naturally with the territory. Satan has a few lies he likes to hold in reserve just  for single people. They play on our emotions, desires, insecurities, and impatience making them that much harder to recognize as lies.

 Here are a few good ones that I have caught him throwing my way.

• If you are an obedient Christian and all-around good person and want to be married, then you deserve to be married! God must not love you if you are still single. He's holding out on you, saving His best for those He loves best. You need to try harder, be more perfect in order to earn the blessing of His love before you can get married.

• You are still single and everyone knows that everyone should be married. You must be out of God's will. Or I guess, there's just something really wrong with you. You must not be worth a whole lot since nobody wants you.

• It's better to settle for anyone who pays attention to you than to stay single forever. Because if a no-good kinda guy is the only kind that pays attention, then that must be all you are worth. Why waste your time waiting for someone who will only be too good for you anyway? Settle. Settle Now.

• All single people are miserable, lonely, and want nothing more than to get married. All married people are happy, content, and love their lives. If you want to be happy, then getting married is the key to your happiness.

• If you are still single, it's your own fault. If you really wanted to be married you could have been married years ago. Your standards are just way too high; you are just far too picky. So what if your core doctrinal beliefs aren't the same? So what if your lifestyles and standards are different? You will never find someone that is just right for you. You had better learn to compromise real quick or you will be doomed to be single forever.

• You are single and therefore can't really do anything important in God's sight. He saves all of the important tasks for the men or even the married ladies (because everyone knows a married lady is worth far more than a single one). So sorry you can't serve God yourself just as you are right now. Oh sure, you can do a few little things, but nothing really important, nothing that actually matters. You can take the leftover jobs that no one else wants to do. Single girls just can't really make a difference in this world. Guess you just have to give up those dreams and desires to serve God. You'll just have to sit around and wait to serve Him until you get married. That's just all the more reason to just go find yourself someone right away. Anyone will do.

I am sure that when you are just reading these lies they sound so obvious. They are clearly exaggerations, twisted truths, and bald-faced lies. You may wonder how anyone could actually fall for them. But I assure you, they can be quite convincing when they are being whispered to you in the midst of loneliness, personal insecurities, false views of God's love and goodness, and the all around societal pressure to never, ever be alone.

Even when you have found contentment and happiness in your single life (because after all, there are A LOT of great benefits and many wonderful advantages) those around you can "upset your apple cart" with just a casual comment here or a careless word there. The pressure to "find someone" is often just as hard to face in the well-meaning, caring people at church as it is in Hollywood, co-workers, or even your own family. (You would know this is true if you were ever on the receiving end of "and why are you still single?" or "how come you don't have a boyfriend?")

When that happens, just remember that the "truth will set you free." We must examine our thoughts and feelings to see if they are truth. We need to compare them with God's Word to see if they have merit. When we realize that a thought doesn't have Biblical truth in it, we must reject it as a lie no matter how "right" it feels.

Once we have replaced the hidden lies in our minds with truth, we need to change our focus as well. There are many, many good things that God has for single people. Make a list! Do it in your head. Write it down so you can review it. Add to it every time you discover another blessing that is unique to singles alone. Thank God for His many countless blessings that are already in your life. It's very hard (if not impossible) to be dissatisfied and thankful at the same time.

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Sometimes you don't even realize that you are believing a lie until someone else points it out. So, how about you? Are there lies that you have recognized and/or struggled with? Please share them! It can be encouraging to know that you are not alone and others face the same thoughts and fight the same battles.