Makin' Lemonade outta Life

Before I begin, I just wanted to remind everyone that a comment on here as well as comments or likes on Facebook will earn an entry in a drawing for a prize. I have been giving out clues about the prize on Facebook so you may have already guessed, but I am officially announcing the prize... Since the contest began in celebration of having reached 1500 views, the prize will be a $15.00 gift card to Starbucks! This is the LAST post in the contest; the winner will be announced in the next post, my 50th!! (If you missed the others, you may go back, read, and comment in order to earn entries on posts 46, 47, and 48.)

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I hope I am not alone in the desire to live a happy life. (Because if I am then I have greatly misjudged the rest of the world!)

• What is happiness? 
• How do we achieve it? 
• Why is it different for each person? 
• Why am I happy/unhappy? 
• Will I ever be happy again? 
• I really, really wish... 
• I would be happy if.... 
• Life is so good, what is there to be unhappy about?  

I have gone through enough things in my life for each of these questions to have eventually surfaced.

 

Before I get too far into this, let me define happiness so we are all on the same page. According to dictionary.com, Happiness is...

"pleasure, joy, exhilaration, bliss, contentedness, delight, enjoyment, satisfaction. Happiness, bliss, contentment, felicity imply an active or passive state of pleasure or pleasurable satisfaction. Happiness results from the possession or attainment of what one considers good: the happiness of visiting one's family. Bliss is unalloyed happiness or supreme delight: the bliss of perfect companionship. Contentment is a peaceful kind of happiness in which one rests without desires, even though every wish may not have been gratified: contentment in one's surroundings. Felicity is a formal word for happiness of an especially fortunate or intense kind: to wish a young couple felicity in life."

Basically, happiness is based on circumstances; it is derived from how satisfied you are with your day to day life and all the trappings that involves. Since some people are happier than others; they may be more content and satisfied with their situations in life, but it doesn't necessarily mean that their situations are better than everyone else's. They took the lemons life gave them and made the suggested lemonade. So what makes the difference?

Here is my "recipe" for making...

Life Lemonade.

Step 1.  Identify your lemons.
We need to evaluate our lives to find the root causes when we discover we are unhappy. What your I-would-be-happy-ifs...? What specific things are making you unhappy about your situation in life? (If you are having a hard time pinpointing specific causes then you may not have an abundance of lemons in your life's kitchen, but you may have other issues such as the unhappiness that comes when your relationship with the Lord is strained. Or you may have let your lemons sit too long and they may have "gone bad" taking you past unhappiness and into actual depression. In either of those cases these steps might help some, but are by no means a cure-all.) 

Step 2.  Slice open your lemons.
Now that you have figured out the specific things you dislike about your life, it's time to evaluate those things. Cut them into two and examine them. We do this subconsciously all the time, but sometimes we need to take time to purposefully devote thought to them. The evaluation process is meant to determine if you can do anything about those lemons or not.

Perhaps the first thing to ask is this - are your expectations simply set too high? Being disappointed is never easy. If we can change our expectations out of where life is headed, people in our lives, or even ourselves we can find less to be unhappy about.

Charles Morgan (whom I know nothing about other than this quote) said, "The art of living does not consist in preserving and clinging to a particular mode of happiness, but in allowing happiness to change its form without being disappointed by the change; happiness, like a child, must be allowed to grow up.” There will be times that our lives go different directions than we expected. Accepting the changes and moving on can be a huge step toward happiness. Clinging to the past or past expectations of what life has in store can keep you stuck constantly wishing for something else that will never be attained.

Secondly, there are causes or triggers that we cannot change because we simply have no control over them. This would include such things as the death of a loved one, cold and dreary weather, our unchangeable physical characteristics (i.e. height, what we look like, etc.), or our age. There will always be circumstances that we can't control. (But I don't think that means we must be unhappy the majority of the time... more on that in a later step in the recipe.)

Then there are other things. Do they feel out of your control? Now stop and think hard... are they REALLY? Things like jobs, where we live, our weight, being lonely, etc might appear to be out of our control at first glance, especially is you have sunk down into flat out misery. But those are things that CAN be changed. It might take great effort or a great deal of difficulty but given time and effort, they could be different.

When you wish things were different, you want them to change. We can let unhappiness defeat us when we begin to think that we are stuck. Often what can make us the most miserable is the lack of hope that things will be different, that life will stay the same and we will therefore stay unhappy. 

In reality, the "I'm-a-victim-of-my-circumstance" mentality should in and of itself be a red-flag that it's time to make some changes. After all, we have a great deal of say in our circumstances; we just have to take responsibility for them. Realizing that you are not a victim and that you have a say in some of those circumstances can go a long way in giving you the hope that you need to work towards changing your circumstances and being happy.

Step 3. Juice your lemons.
By this, I mean to take action about the things you have identified as lemons in your life and you have decided that you can change. Depending on what you are unhappy about and what steps will be involved, this may be a slow process. At least start by making plans if you can't change it all at once.

Look closely at those lemons. What would it take to deal with them? Is it really impossible or are we sometimes just too lazy or unwilling to "pay the price." There's a cost to everything, whether it be of money, effort, a complete change in lifestyle, or changing where we live. The choice boils down to this... am I going to stay unhappy or am I going to do what needs to be done even if it is difficult, takes a long time, or is costly?

Acknowledge it up front, many things cannot be changed quickly. You might have to work towards a goal for years before you achieve it. But does the amount of time involved make it not worth it? Only if we are settling for the "instant" mindset. Giving up on "instant" can help motivate you to make the changes you felt would take too long.

For example: you might be unhappy about the way you look because you don't have straight teeth and don't like how it looks when you smile. You may have realized that is something you can change, but it won't be overnight. Braces are expensive so you may not be able to rush out and get them tomorrow. But you can make plans for how to set money aside and begin saving. You could also have an orthodontist do their free evaluation exam to see what will be involved both in time and expense. In other words, you can start the process of change!

Don't be afraid to get creative or think outside the box. Sometimes a lemon can be dealt with in a different way than you have been insisting to yourself (and/or the Lord) that it needs to be fixed.

I have personal example of this for you. I was feeling lonely due to some circumstances that had left me entirely without my close circle of friends that I had enjoyed for the past year. I was thinking that the only way to solve my loneliness was through other friendships. But I realized that companionship does not always have to come in human form. I had missed having a pet ever since I left for college and I came to the point in February that I realized I could finally see the way to make a pet happen. After the necessary research, I found the only thing "in my way" was an expensive pet deposit. It was worth it to me to pay the price necessary to have a pet and companion like I wanted, turning an unpleasant circumstance of my life to a pleasant one.

Bonus Cooking Tip: While it may be tempting to try to attempt to deal with a whole bunch of lemons at one time, trying to chop up and juice too many lemons at once is a bad idea; it could actually be harmful (chopped up fingers, anyone?), leave you frustrated, and just plain create a big mess for you to clean up.

Step 4. Add in some water and sugar.
Lemonade would be too sour if we didn't add water and sugar. Life too can be sour if we leave out some things. Your walk with the Lord could be compared to the water. It actually makes up the largest part of lemonade. It's the least expensive ingredient, taking only a little time and effort. Daily time in the Bible and praying, as well as maintaining constant communication moment by moment will comprise the largest portion of your happiness. You might add memorizing or posting verses in your home and work area. Make prayer lists. Just work at staying close to God! Only He can give you the grace to be happy in spite of the things you truly cannot change; only He can teach you contentment (refer to the definition at the top). Stay close to Him. Distance only makes the lemon juice in your life more potent and bitter.

If walking with the Lord is the water, then unselfishness is the sugar. Becoming too selfish and self-centered is a sure-fire way to make anyone unhappy. We find a great deal of sweetness in life as we find ways to serve others. Turn off the TV and DO things! This could be serving in your local church, volunteering in your community, taking the time and effort to try to cheer someone else up, cooking or baking for someone else, and the list could go on and on. Just as sugar is a very important ingredient in sweetening up lemonade, doing things for others is very important in sweetening life lemonade.

Step 5. Enjoy!
So when you are annoyed, frustrated, or unhappy with something in or about your life, ask yourself this "What am I going to do about it?" Don't settle for living a sour-faced life; take the lemons life throws you, make yourself some sweet lemonade, and enjoy your life as God intended!

Wishin' It Were April Fool's

Since my guest blogger was not quite ready anyway,
I want to dedicate this post to 

My Moopsie and Poopsie.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012 appeared to be just another normal, every-day average Wednesday all the way up to 11:00 pm. You know the kind... a slower, easy-going workday followed by heading to church to either sit in the services or work with toddlers in the nursery. After church, its time to eat or just relax and watch some Psych with my sister before heading to bed to get rest for Thursday. That's a normal Wednesday.

But that seemingly normal Wednesday became anything but normal when my dad called me at 11:00 pm. He never calls that late, so I figured something was wrong. Polly's grandparents are older and I was bracing myself for bad news about them. Instead, he told me that Moopsie and Poopsie, Polly's parents had both been killed in a car accident just a few hours earlier. If there ever was a time you want to hear the words "April Fool's" or somehow find out that it was all a huge mistake, it's a time like that.

I believe that the first time I met them was right about this time when I was 16, around 11 years ago. My dad was dating Polly and they came down to our part of Texas for Easter. From the very first time we met them, they took us in as if we had always been theirs. They easily and quickly became family.

When you have a blended family, it doesn't always happen very easily. To some you are merely their daughter's step-kids, but they made us their grandkids, pure and simple. We may not have been born their grandkids, but they made it clear we were the grandkids of their hearts. From Dad and Polly's wedding, birthdays, our high school and college graduations, Zach being born, Christmases in Texas and Albuquerque, and the family vacation in Arkansas they became a part of the very fabric of our lives that family forms.

Holidays were usually the main times we got to spend time with them. I will never forget that my favorite Christmas since I graduated and became an adult was the Christmas I flew home to Texas from Nashville and went on to Albuquerque. It had been too long since I had a true family Christmas and it was exactly what I needed that year.

Moopsie was one of the most caring, encouraging people I have ever met. She loved snowmen trinkets and taking care of everyone she loved. She was a great gift-giver. I enjoyed talking with Moopsie about food and cooking. After she got onto Facebook, we would email back and forth. One of my most precious memories of her was her response to a post I put on Facebook. I was feeling frustrated by the lack of sensitivity of people who asked "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" as if I could have decided I wanted one and merely snap my fingers and have boys lining up. She encouraged me to be patient, told me that I was special, and that she had no doubt that God planned to bring me someone special. She said that the wait was worth it. Considering her long, happy marriage of over 40 years, she knew what she was talking about and it encouraged me.

Poopsie was more quiet and harder to read; I wasn't always sure what he was thinking. He had dryer and almost British sense of humor and was probably one of the smartest men I have ever met, the kind you don't want to play Trivial Pursuit with because he knew everything. He liked Dilbert, Star Trek, and loved music. One of my favorite memories of him was when he gave me a hug and said quietly, "You know you are one of MY girls now, right?" Both of my granddads had already passed on so he was my last remaining Granddad; his quiet acceptance meant the world to me.

If I have been reminded of anything in the past couple of weeks it is this -

"Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away." ~James 4:14

We only have a short time to live. We cannot put off things that are important for tomorrow, because it may never come. Share the Gospel with people you meet. Tell your loved ones that you love them. Spend time with family. Laugh with friends. Make the call or write the email that you have "been meaning to get around to..."

By all means, plan for the future, but don't forget that it's not guaranteed.

And that too is no "April Fool's."

I am Me and So is He

With St. Patrick's Day this weekend I could not help but mention it in this post! At first glance a post about identity theft and St. Patrick's day may not appear to fit together. But, in a loose sense "St. Patrick" has been quite the victim of identity theft himself!

You see, he was actually a missionary with Baptistic doctrines who stirred up great revival in Ireland and Great Britain. From what I have read, he was actually rather unpopular with and at times persecuted by the Roman Catholic church (who in the last 150 years have claimed him as one of their own and made him a "Saint") because he preached baptism by immersion only after salvation (i.e. no infant baptism) and other Baptist doctrines in direct opposition to Catholic doctrine. He never claimed to be Catholic at all and his own writings bear witness to his holding Baptistic beliefs.

For him to have been claimed as a Catholic "Saint" and have a holiday named after him that is mainly celebrated by heavy drinking, wearing of green, and a superstitious regard of "lucky" shamrocks (he actually used the three-leaf clover to teach the doctrine of the Trinity), his identity has truly been stolen and remade into something that he himself would not recognize.

And now, I shall disembark my hobby horse and move on to the main part of the post...

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Do you remember those commercials that showed a couple years back? The ones with a creepy man's voice coming out of a little old lady's mouth as she/he discussed the recent fraudulent purchases made on her debit card after her identity was stolen?

Well, identity theft has become an increasingly popular crime. Working in the financial industry I have learned quite a bit about identity theft, methods of prevention, results of/hassle created by it, etc. Though technically a bookkeeper, more than half of my daily job involves working to prevent identity theft and fraud, attempting to catch it early on, and in working with customers to clean up the financial mess created by fraudulent purchases. With the practical experience I have gained, my co-workers jokingly call me the "Fraud Specialist."

Believe me, one little fraudulent purchase on your account can cause hours and hours of work and a major headache for you. With full-blown identity theft, it can take YEARS to repair the damage to your credit. Believe me, you want to do everything possible to avoid going down that path!

That being said here are 15 simple tips that I believe every adult should be aware of and practice consistently.
 

15 Tips for Identity Theft Prevention:

Prevention is the Key

1.       Do not carry your Social Security card, birth certificate, or passport in your wallet or purse except when necessary. Remove them as soon as you get home if you find it necessary to carry them for something specific. Also, limit the number of debit/credit cards you carry, leaving extras in a safe place at home. This practice minimizes the amount of information a thief can steal.

2.       It is also helpful to photocopy all of the documents in your wallet in case of theft. That way, if your wallet is ever stolen, you can quickly retrieve numbers. A list of all your credit cards and debit cards should also be kept in a secure place at home. Be sure to include the numbers you need to call to report a theft; this way, you can quickly call issuers if a credit or debit card is stolen.

3.       You should cancel any inactive credit accounts and limit your total number of credit cards. This will make it easier to keep tabs on all credit activity. Destroy all checks, debit cards, and credit cards upon closing an account to prevent thieves from obtaining the account numbers and running up bills fraudulently.

4.       You should minimize the exposure of your credit and social security numbers. Never put them on checks and never give your social security numbers or account numbers out over the phone, even if you made the call. Identity thieves often place fake calls in an attempt to gather personal information.

5.       Never leave a purse or wallet unattended at work, restaurants, health fitness clubs, parties, shopping carts, or EVEN church. Never leave your purse or wallet in open view in your car, even if your car is locked.

6.       Treat your cell phones, iPads, laptops, etc.  like cash, especially if you have access to your bank accounts on them. Use password protection! Thieves can steal your electronic devices and hack into your online banking, Paypal account, or other financial services/accounts and use them to make fraudulent purchases.

7.       Memorize your personal identification numbers (PINs) so you do not have to write them down.  DO NOT EVER write your PIN on the back of your card or anywhere else in your wallet or purse. Don’t share them with ANYONE, even family members. Never use your SS, DOB, or address as your PIN number, as these are too easy for a thief to guess.

8.       At the ATM, always be aware of your surroundings to make sure no one is watching you input your PIN. Watch for card skimmers; they not only capture your card number, but also your pin which can make proving fraud much more difficult. Try to use familiar machines so you will notice if anything about the machine looks unusual.

9.       Never simply toss credit card receipts in a trashcan, whether in public or at home. Always keep them in a secure place and shred them before tossing out.  Also be sure to shred all junk mail or bills, especially pre-approved credit card approvals, before tossing them out. Shredding will prevent identity thieves from finding confidential information in the trash; identity thieves oftentimes dig through trash to find personal information. These dumpster divers can then use these offers to order credit cards in your name and mail them to their address.

10.   You should always have secure (as in locked) mailboxes, both at work and at home, in order to reduce the likelihood of theft. It is better to have your bank send new checks or debit cards to the bank to be picked up rather than your home address to prevent thieves from snatching them from the mail.

11.   If you do not receive your billing information promptly, notify any companies involved. You should analyze your monthly statements, utility bills, and any subscription bills for any unauthorized changes. Be sure to Balance Your Check Book!

12.   Always request a free yearly credit score from TransUnion, Experian and Equifax. All three are required to give you a free copy once per year, IF you request it. It is recommended that you make a schedule and check one every 4 months to minimize the amount of time in between checks. Each time, be sure to analyze the reports closely for any suspicious or unauthorized activity.

13.   Internet banking can help with security, but only if proper security measures are followed. Install a firewall along with anti-virus and anti-spyware software on all computers. It is essential that all three are kept up-to-date. Also make sure your computer is set to automatically download the latest patches and fixes to help with operating systems security holes (they all have some).  Remember, no Firewall is hacker-proof so still be very cautious with what information you share over a public wi-fi network.

14.   You should not click on links in emails from financial institutions, even if they appear to be legitimate - these emails could be from identity thieves trying to obtain, or "phish" for, confidential information. Instead, go to your browser and type in the domain name of the institution (e.g. www.bankofyourchoice.com or www.paypal.com) and then login to your account.

15.   Make all passwords to financial accounts, computers, wireless connections, emails, etc. complicated enough to discourage hackers. They should always be at LEAST 8 characters long, include both letters and numbers, and include both upper and lower case letters. Memorize them. If you must write them down, do NOT store them at the computer. Areas around the computer (under keyboard, sticky notes, unlocked drawers, etc ) are the first place where thieves will look for those passwords.

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Today's post is #47 and the second post in the contest leading up to post 50! Don't forget to comment here, on Facebook, or "like" on Facebook to receive one entry per blog posts #46-59. (If you missed #46, go back and read it and comment to receive an entry into the drawing.) Another hint about the prize... Since it was in celebration of reaching 1500 page views the prize will be worth $15 "bucks."

Anything... Except that....

Just a note before I begin... This is post #46 of 50! Since the winner of the 1500th viewer contest did not reveal themselves, I will change the contest slightly. Everyone who comments here, comments on Facebook, or "likes" the post on Facebook from this post through the 49th post will receive an entry into a random drawing. (Yes, you receive one entry per comment or "like" per Blogpost #46 through #49.) The winner will be announced in the 50th post. Oh, and just a hint about the prize... It's a little card with the words "Star" on it... OK, now that that is out of the way...

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The other night at church the HBBC choir sang "My Answer is Yes." As I was listening, something in the words struck me differently than they ever had before, even though I have heard the song many, many times.

The chorus says, "I'll be anything You want me to be - my answer is 'Yes'." In essence the choir was telling God, I will be anything, do anything that You want. Whatever you ask of me, I will tell you "Yes." I have sung along with those words myself fully and sincerely believing them to be true.

Yet this time it hit me. "Do I really mean that?" I wondered. "Am I really willing to say "Yes" wholeheartedly and unreservedly NO MATTER WHAT God asks?" This actually brought several different scenarios to mind.

What if...? #1
Especially with the SWBC Missions Conference going on this week, surrendering to God to be a missionary might come easily to mind. For some people the thought of giving God a blank check with their life brings terror-filled thoughts of trudging through a jungle with 12 children in tow, ducking vines and snakes, slipping and sliding in the mud caused by a torrential downpour, and then arriving in your destination only to be greeted by half-naked, spear-carrying natives with disgruntled looks on their faces who speak a language you don't understand.

You might be afraid that saying "Yes" to God would mean that you would be going to bed each night in fear of your life, enduring great persecution, or wondering when you would have electricity or running water that you didn't have to boil first. That you would constantly worry about your child getting sick and dying from some strange, exotic disease. That you would become a widow at an early age because your husband died a martyr and left you with those 12 kids to care for on your own.

Honestly, I can see the cause for concern and I acknowledge that it could be possible for each of those things to happen. But I grew up hoping to be a missionary and while I do not at all desire for those hardships or trials, I kind of figured they potentially went with the territory when I told God "anything."

What if...? #2
This second scenario is the one that God has been working in my heart about lately. It's a totally different set of things that "anything" could involve. What if "anything" means working a (so-called) "secular" job, not just for now, but for the rest of my life. I might end up facing the struggles of staying single rather than the struggles of staying married. It could mean rather than being a harried mom of 12 that I never become a mom. At all.

Anything might mean that instead of working with wild jungle natives whose language I don't speak, I could be drilling memory verses into the minds of wild four year old girls (whose language I still may not understand). My worries may be less about the availability of electricity and clean water and more about paying the electric and water bills on time.

God has been showing me that just because I have a "good" desire doesn't mean that He is obligated to fulfill it the way I want. Just because the desire I have might even be "spiritual" doesn't make it His plan for me. He might even tell me "No" about something that I think would be good.

*Gasp* Are you reading this in horror and disbelief because it goes against today's popular name it-claim it teaching? Are you fearlessly pulling out Ps. 37:4 as if it were your genie-in-a-bottle guarantee to always get your own way, especially if the plan you have is good or spiritual? Well, just remember that God says His ways are different than ours. Remember that David greatly desired to build the Temple for God but God limited him to preparing for it. Paul also earnestly desired to continue spreading the Gospel in one direction, but God told him "No" and sent him to Macedonia instead.

Maybe none of the things I mentioned are relevant to you. The things that I fear or the life's path that I would rather not take will be different, just as my dreams and hopes are different. But we each have things that we hope, desire, or even expect to happen in our lives. When we come to the place where God asks us for total surrender, we each have things that come to mind we fear He will ask us to give up or we fear He will actually ask us to do.

Keeping those things in mind, those fears that just popped in your head, those miniature idols that you are clasping close to your heart, would you still say "Anything You ask of me, my answer is 'Yes'?" Could you say it sincerely? Would I? Are we really willing to write God a blank check with our lives knowing that we are signing our lives away to whatever He chooses?

Or do we say "anything" while in our hearts we really mean "anything but that"?

45 and Counting...

To all my readers who may have fleetingly wondered why they have not seen anything new from me in a while, I am happy to report that I am still alive and doing quite well. I have been thinking a lot about what a neglectful writer I have been lately, which is to say...

1. I have not died or fallen off the face of the Earth.
2. I have not forgotten about my blog.
3. I have not given up writing.
4. I have not merely gone brain-dead and had no viable ideas. (In other words, I have had thoughts worthy of being written about cross through my mind these last couple of weeks. I just haven't written them.) 
5. I have been a little lazy. (Just being honest. I could've made time to write...)
6. I have been plotting, scheming, and making plans about upcoming posts.
7. I am very aware that this post will be my 45th post which means that my 50th post is coming up.
8. I am also aware that I shall soon hit 1500 in the total number of page views to my blog.

The main purpose of this post is actually to let you know some of my up-coming plans! I will give you a glimpse into my plans, my tentative plans, mind you. There shall be no suing of the writer if plans change with no prior notice!

45th post - That would be THIS ONE!
46th post - Anything!! Except That...
47th post - I'm Me and So Is He
48th post - Guest post (if it works out in timing)
49th post - Making Lemonade out of Life
50th post - The Balloon's About to POP!


I am very excited about the upcoming posts and hopefully you are too! So here it goes... The "countdown" to 50 posts and 1500 visits begins!!!

P.S. Bonus challenge!! If you are the 1500th page viewer, leave me a comment and I will send you a special prize. What is it??? Guess you will just have to be the lucky 1500th page viewer and leave me a comment to find out... =D

P.P.S. I have placed the page views counter at top of the right side column. It is visible from the main page or each individual post. So, no excuses! You should be able to tell if you are the winner of the contest or not. ;-)

Songs on a Sunday - Day by Day

Day by Day

by Lina Sandell

As is true with so many of the hymns that deeply touch our hearts, Day by Day was written after personal tragedy touched the life of the author, Lina Sandell of Sweden. Her fragile health throughout most of her childhood led to her being especially close to her father. She often spent all day with him in his study rather than playing with children her own age. When she was the same age as me, only 26, she took a trip with her beloved father. As they were sailing, due to an unexpected lurch, her father fell overboard and drowned while she watched helplessly from the boat.

Lina had already written a few songs before this tragedy, but overtime, she became known as the Swedish Fanny Crosby due to the outpouring of her heart into about 650 songs. She was especially known for writing songs that spoke of having simple, childlike faith and trust in her loving Lord and Heavenly Father. Day by Day was translated into English by Andrew Scroog sometime in the early 1900's.

Day by Day

Day by day, and with each passing moment,

Strength I find, to meet my trials here;

Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,

I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.

He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure

Gives unto each day what He deems best—

Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure,

Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Every day, the Lord Himself is near me

With a special mercy for each hour;

All my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me,

He Whose Name is Counselor and Power;

The protection of His child and treasure

Is a charge that on Himself He laid;

“As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,”

This the pledge to me He made.

Help me then in every tribulation

So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,

That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation

Offered me within Thy holy Word.

Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,

Ever to take, as from a father’s hand,

One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,

Till I reach the promised land.

We All Need Somebody to...

Go ahead... Finish the song. "We all need somebody to leeeeean on." God made us to be social creatures. It's not good for us to be alone; we need friends. (If you don't believe me for some reason, try moving to a place where you know no one and see how long it takes you to get lonely.)

Most of us have family and typically we know that they care. Ideally, we have good relationships with our family. But we don't usually live with them past school and often they do not live close enough to be heavily involved in our lives every day.

So other than family... who cares about us? Who shares our struggles and burdens? Who do we tell our frustrations to? Who laughs with us at the funny things that happen? Who cries with us or just holds us close when when our hearts break? Who spends time with us, shares interests, depends on us, makes us feel included, accepted, needed? Who shares our triumphs and rejoices in our victories? Our friends.

We tend to develop groups of friends that we like to spend time with, people that we can do things with and who accept us. But even within a group, we usually have individual friends that we are closer to. Maybe we click with them better or share more interests or have more similar senses of humor. These people become your closer friends and they are the ones with the biggest influence on your life

Some close friends come and go like the seasons. They are a part of your life for a time, but as time passes and life changes, you gradually drift apart and go different ways. Others may not have the time to dedicate to keep up a close friendship. Some prove to be unworthy of your trust and may cause you great pain. But then there's that rare jewel, that special unique bond that doesn't come along every day.

Some friends are the Jonathan to your David. They are the once-in-a-lifetime friend. They seems to be cut of the same cloth; they share your soul. You find that you are "two peas in a pod," joined at the hip, "twin brother from different mothers." They redefine what "best friend" means to you. You could be very, very different, but they just "get" you. They touch you so deeply that you are never the same after knowing them. Once that kind of friendship is lost, it leaves you feeling as though a part of yourself is missing, gone forever.

I have experienced lonely times when I felt alone, desperately needing a friend and feeling like I had no one to "lean" on. And I have had good times where I had an accepting group of friends that felt as close as family. I have had friends that helped me, others that hurt me, and some that did both. Through it all, there is something that I have found... they are worth it! There is something special, priceless even, about having friends. Having friends is a blessing and a gift from God! Don't take them for granted!

There is so much that could be said on the matter of friendship. Since I find time and space inadequate, I want to share some thoughts and quotes of others that have spoken volumes to me. Like little gold nuggets, they contain great wealth in a small, condensed form.


About their vast influence:

• "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." ~ Proverbs 27:17
• "You’ll be with me like a hand print on my heart, now whatever way our stories end I know you have rewritten mine by being my friend." ~ Wicked, the musical 
• "Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better? But because I knew you I have been changed for good." ~ Wicked, the musical  
• "We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence." ~ Joseph Roux

About the kind of friends to have:

• "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." ~ Proverbs 26:7
• "Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm & constant." ~ Socrates 
• "There are only two types of friends – those who encourage you to see how God can use you and those who simply use you for themselves." ~ Pastor Gaddis 
• "Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:" ~ Proverbs 22:24
• "Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation." ~ George Washington
  

About what makes a good friend:

• "Friends are like walls... Sometimes you lean on them, and sometimes it is just enough to know they are there." ~ Unknown
• "A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad." ~ Arnold H. Glasgow
• "The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?" ~ Eugene Kennedy
• "A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails." ~ Donna Roberts
• "Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait for the answer." ~ Unknown
• "A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should." ~ Author Unknown
• "A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." ~ Proverbs 17:17
• "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." ~ Proverbs 18:24
• "Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel." ~ Proverbs 27:9 
• "It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
• "A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same." ~ Elbert Hubbard
• "You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job." ~ Laurence J. Peter

About how to lose friends:

• "He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him." ~ Proverbs 27:14
• "A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends." ~ Proverbs 16:28
• "He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends." ~ Proverbs 17:9
• "Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me." ~ Psalms 41:9
  

So... Now What?

Now I don't know how it has been for you, but in Bible college I always heard, practically every chapel, that "life and responsibility and ministry will be thrust upon you before you know it. You will look back to your college days and wish that you had as much free time as you did then, because life will be so much busier. And it will happen fast! Faster than you think!" For many of my classmates, that may very well have been true, but not for me.

For me after getting settled into a new job, new city, new life after college actually meant I slowed down. A LOT.  Even now almost three years after graduation, I work full-time, work a couple days a week at a second job, serve in several ministries at church, and still somehow wind up with more free time than I ever had in college. This unexpected slower pace brought it's own challenges.

The biggest unexpected challenge that I faced then and still face now is the question, "So now what?" Until graduation from college there had always been a very obvious goal that I was headed towards - graduation. Once everything calmed down after that, the move was made, the new job started, etc., the great calm settled in.

For the first time in my life, the future spread out before me entirely unmapped. I found myself in the middle of a calm sea with no land in sight, no specific goal to head towards, just smooth, still water barely even lapping against the sides of the boat. The bright blue sky above was cloudless except for the fluffy white clouds that formed the words, "Now what?" The words hung there in the horizon as I looked around at the still water and felt like I was going nowhere.

There are simply going to be times in our lives when things get calm. And it usually occurs right after a major victory, a great trial, or immediately following the accomplishment of a major goal in life (like graduation from college, settling into a new city and/or job). After the struggles that come with fighting for a victory, surviving trials, or in the wake of accomplishment, the calm can seem ... well... boring. While the calm can certainly be a relief especially at first, over time it can also become tame, routine, mundane, blah.

What's the next step? What happens now? What goal am I headed for now? What does the future hold? Is this IT? Is this all life is? Is this life going to be my life forever? These are some of the many questions that calm can produce.

I still remember a message from the first week of my senior year of college. I don't remember who was preaching, but what they said stuck with me. The Bible says, "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." Whenever the future looks unclear, uncertain, or dark and clouded with mystery, God promises to light our way if we follow His Word. But it doesn't say that it's a searchlight flooding our future five miles down the road with light and clarity. It says "lamp." Like a flashlight that we shine at our feet, it gives just enough light to see the next step down the road. We will never see further until we take the one step that we can see. After that, the next step will come into the light and we can take that one step.

This begs the question, when life is calm and there don't seem to be any major steps to take, what steps are we to take from day to day? This is what has been on my mind for the past couple of weeks. I have heard many times that if you do God's known will day by day, He will reveal His unknown will in His time. (Kinda like the flashlight...) So more specifically, I have been thinking about what I know to be His will for me right now, day by day.

These are things that I know He desires out of my life right now.

• That I spend time daily with Him reading His Word and praying.
• That I "forsake not the assembly" by attending and serving in the ministries of my church.
• That I spread the Gospel, both to strangers I meet along my way and those who I see everyday.
• That I work to earn the money to provide for my needs, doing my best to glorify Him in the process by having a good testimony with my coworkers, employers, and creditors (those to whom I pay my bills).
• That I be a good steward of money, time, and other resources by tithing, giving to missions, being sure that necessary work is done before relaxing (i.e. not being lazy), having productive hobbies, and being a blessing with the things I have whenever possible.
• That I be a good steward of the body He has given me by eating the right amounts of healthy foods, exercising, getting the proper amount of sleep, etc.
• That I continue to prepare for the future by continuously learning and reading books and articles that will be helpful, encouraging, informative, etc.
• That I fellowship with people who will help sharpen me and encourage my growth in the Lord.
• That I focus on pleasing Him, not my own personal pleasure.
• That I remain thankful and praise Him, not taking for granted the virtually countless blessings He has given me.
• That my speech be "alway with grace" saying holy, encouraging, edifying words rather than gossip, malice, or criticism. 
• That I would be patient and loving toward those who frustrate me and/or in times of frustration, no matter if they "deserve" it.
• That I both memorize and meditate on His Word throughout my day.

To be honest, that list is really, really convicting to me. And though I am very sure that it is still incomplete, it already gives me plenty to work on.

I am learning to patiently tackle the "right now's" one day at a time, 

leaving the "now what's" to Him, 

having faith that He will show me the steps I need to take in His time.

I am a C...

I don't know who wrote this poem, but a friend shared it on Facebook and I fell in love with it. I have seen similar ones before, but this one seems to really, truly capture how I personally feel about being a Christian.

I am a Christian

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."

I'm whispering, "I was lost;

Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I don't speak of this with pride.

 I'm confessing that I stumble 

And need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I am not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak

And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

 I'm not bragging of success.

I am admitting I have failed

And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not claiming to be perfect.

My flaws are far too visible

But God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I still feel the sting of pain.

I have my share of heartaches

So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

 I'm not holier than thou.

I am just a simple sinner

Who received God's grace somehow!

This poem also made me think about how I present my Christianity to others. Am I actively showing the people I meet that these things are what a Christian is? Can they see in my life that though I still have hurts I run to Christ? That I don't think I am self-righteous but humbly seek to serve the One that made me righteous? That I am strong only when I rely on His strength? 

I think far too often Christians present the "outside world" with a smug, self-righteous, strong-in-my-own-strength warped version of Christianity that leaves them as disgusted as God Himself must be with such a hypocritical mindset. Could such a picture ever be appealing? Could it ever draw men in need to Him? Remember, Christians proclaim to be like Him. What others see in us will be what they naturally assume He is too.

Since Christianity is about all being like Christ such pride and arrogance as such a mindset displays have no place in His character and should have no place in ours either. Jesus was sincere, caring, humble, and down-to-Earth. He loathed the bindings of religious tradition because He recognized that they placed unnecessary burdens on people and served as roadblocks to God. 

The last thing that I EVER want to be is a roadblock keeping someone else from God.

Have a "Random" New Year?

It may sound odd, but this post really began several months ago when I was in the bathroom at work. Don't get scared! It's safe to keep reading, I promise! =)

As I was washing my hands I looked down through the floor-to-ceiling window to the parking lot 6 floors below. In doing so, I just happened to notice that there was a small 3" by 3" wooden tile with the word "Grapefruit" written on it. It was just laying there on the floor by the window. For the next several months I noticed it every time I went into that bathroom. Every time I saw it, I thought about how random it was. I wondered how it got there, why "Grapefruit," and did anybody else EVER notice it? Then one day last week I noticed it was gone.

That silly little wooden tile made me stop and think. Practically every day I saw it and thought about how random it was, that life itself is random. So eventually I actually looked up some definitions of the word "random." Some are complicated and relate to mathematical probabilities and statistics; some are theological and delve into the deep world of chance, fate, free will, and choice. But the one that fit for me was "something unknown, unidentified, or out of place" and "odd and unpredictable in an amusing way."

I think that sometimes we get busy and don't take time to notice the random little things in our lives, but I think we should. We should see them, treasure them, watch for them. They are what make each day special and unique from the others. They can keep life from being hum-drum, same ol' same ol' boring. The unusual, crazy, unpredictable, out-of-place things are what add spice to life.

Need a few more examples than just a "Grapefruit" tile? Here are a few other things that broke through and caught my attention forcing me to notice the random.

• How within days of moving into my apartment, I got home from work and parked the car. I looked up just in time to see a heron in the pond by my apartment catch and eat a fish. Living in the middle of a city, that was totally random, but utterly cool.
• How I recently spent half the night awake with my sister when I should have been sleeping because an injured beaver was in our parking lot when she got home from work and we were trying to get someone to come help it.
• How of all the NFL teams out there, my little brother has become a fan of the same football team that I have liked since I was 13, the Green Bay Packers. Oddly enough, it's because his school starts with "G" and their font and colors look the same as Green Bay's. My dad believes the Dallas Cowboys should be the family's only team and is, needless to say a little horrified, but I am thrilled.
• How I discovered a cool new TV show from co-workers and checked it out while my sister was in Texas for Thanksgiving. I thought she would like it and planned to tell her about it when she returned only to find that she was introduced to the same show by our family during the same week and she planned on sharing it with me!
• How the very day I watched "Facing the Giants" again, I found myself crying out to God that I would still love Him, just as they did when faced with God saying "No" to their dreams.
• How I managed to lock my keys and my cell phone into my car two times exactly a year apart - both on my way to OKC on Memorial Day weekend, both at Shell gas stations while filling up my gas tank, both the same time of day down to the hour.
• How my best friend moved away from OKC on June 1st this year, a year to the day that I moved back to OKC from Nashville.
• How I got pooped on by a bird while walking in Bricktown last spring.
• How my experience while buying my first car came in handy when my sister had oddly similar things happen while buying her first car.
• How things can look like a tragedy and still turn out for the best.
• How I will feel sad or down and see a message on my phone from someone saying they are praying for me.
• How I accidentally threw my work keys into the dumpster and had to go dumpster diving to get them.
• How I will think about someone or something and get my phone out to text them only to get a text from them about the same exact thing right as I pick up the phone.
• How God will be working on something in my heart and someone else will mention that God is working on the same thing in their life.

Another definition of random is "without definite aim, purpose, or method; in a haphazard way; without any rhyme or reason." I also read about how something could appear to be random and lacking pattern or order to one person but not appear random to another because they can see the pattern.

A couple days ago, I watched "Signs" (one of my favorite movies) again. The central theme is about faith and whether or not there are coincidences or if everything happens for a reason, as signs pointing us to God and His presence in our lives. It's plain to me that the randomness in my life is certainly odd, unusual, and unpredictable often in a comical way, but it's not aimless, purposeless, or haphazard at all.

So at the end of this my 40th post, my prayer for myself and all of you this New Years would be this - that our lives be wonderfully, marvelously, comically random. Let one of your New Year's Resolutions be to watch for those random things throughout your day, your week, your life. Embrace them! Enjoy them! Allow them to bring a smile to your face. After all, they might just be God giving you a little "sign" that He's still there and that your life isn't really so random after all.

What's the Reason Again?

Anyone who has been here in OKC during the month of December probably knows that it brings a few distinct changes. For one, the weather starts to get colder and wetter, not typically snowy, just rainy and occasionally icy. The wind is the one weather constant year round since it's the one thing that never EVER stops here. During winter it merely picks up speed and makes people who thought they knew what cold was rethink the very definition of "chilled to the bone." There's something about winter here that makes 32 degrees feel so much colder than other places.

In addition to the weather changes you feel, other changes occur for you to hear. Magic 104.1 starts to play Christmas music beginning Thanksgiving (or maybe the day after) and continuing non-stop to New Years Day. And you know it's not truly the Christmas season here until you start to hear the B.C. Clark's jingle. (You know the one that gets stuck in your head and somehow becomes part of the very fabric of the Christmas season in Oklahoma... "Jewelry is the gift to give, 'cause it's the gift that lives and lives. So give the gift you know can't fail, from B.C. Clark's anniversary sale. Most sales are after Christmas, but Clark's is just before. Most everything is marked way down with savings you can't ignore at Oklahoma's oldest jeweler, since 1892. So give the gift you know can't fail, from B.C. Clark's anniversary sale.")

The change in music plays a role in the changing moods of the people around you. Some become stressed and irritable. Others seem to be just bursting with the Christmas spirit and scamper around sharing their glee like little elves who run to and fro tossing the glitter of Christmas cheer on everyone they meet. And, if you work anywhere like I do, work suddenly involves random food snacks showing up in the break room, decorating contests, vacation days, white elephant gift exchanges, Christmas cards, and possibly even little envelopes containing Christmas bonuses.

But is this what Christmas is all about? If you listen to the messages in song on the radio you might glean that Christmas is about Santa; getting presents, a boyfriend, hippos, or front teeth; family and love; Santa; hearts given away last Christmas, loneliness, being homesick, and being blue; snow or how cold it is outside; sleigh rides; silver bells; Santa; reindeer running over Grandma; what 12 things your true love gave you; Christmas trees, holly, and mistletoe; how a little boy guilt-tripped a stranger into giving him money to get his mom a pair of red shoes; Rudolph; and of course how you'd better be good 'cause (who else?) Santa Claus is coming to town.

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE the traditional Christmas music, the bright, cheerful decorations, and the old school Christmas movies (like It's a Wonderful Life and A Charlie Brown Christmas). But none of those things are why I celebrate Christmas. The most beautiful and meaningful songs just don't hardly show up on the radio, but rather appear in the old hymn books. They tell the true story of Christmas and of the best gift EVER given - Jesus Christ. Let's not let Santa steal the show! After all, we give gifts to each other in celebration (and imitation) of how God gave us Jesus

It's about how Mary gave her body, her reputation, and even risked trading her upcoming marriage for being stoned, all to have a baby that was impossible for her to have. It's how Joseph gave his reputation, the chance to have his own son be his firstborn and heir, and the chance to start out married life with just him and his new wife. It's how they both endured shame and humiliation that they didn't earn. It's how the very Creator God of the universe humbled Himself to become one of His creation, being born as a helpless, defenseless, average little baby, born in a barn with animals as an unmarried woman's son with a hardworking but poor step-father, to spend 30 years on this Earth without truly being recognized, to endure all the trials of every day ordinary life, to be betrayed by a beloved friend, to be hated by those who should have recognized and worshiped him, to sacrifice Himself in a cruel and painful death, to be raised back to life but be held initially in disbelief by some of His closest followers. All this He endured to save us from our sins that should have condemned us to Hell and an eternity without Him.

When it comes to Christmas you often hear that He is the "reason for the season." But I say He is so much more even than that. He is the reason. Period. Jesus is the very reason for anything, for our very existence. Let's remember that. Hold onto that. I pray that we all remember "the reason" both this Christmas and all year round.

Just Please Don't Look at Me Like That!

Growing up I was a generally good kid. I didn't cause a whole lot of trouble or really try to rebel more than one time (and of all the silly things, it was over not getting to pick up my new glasses from the store). But to my own shame, especially in my early teen years, I did have enough of my father the lawyer in me to argue quite a bit. I would get caught up in the argument and whether in the right or wrong would not hardly back down. Anger I could handle. A raised voice I could take unfazed; if anything it spurred me to continue on. Even if I inwardly acknowledged the truth of the other person's side, I would continue. As long as I had opposition I could keep it up.

There was only one thing that could break through to me and end my stubbornness - my parent's disappointment. The minute my mom or dad stopped fighting, looked me in the eye, and told me, "I am disappointed in you," all fight would drain out of me. Nothing could bring me to tears and repentance faster than those five words. They stung deep and hurt worse than any other punishment that my parents could dole out (although taking reading of any kind away for a couple days was also typically effective).

Tonight at church the visiting preacher took a different view of the Judgement Seat of Christ than I had ever heard before. He supposed that instead of the angry, scowling judge that we often picture our Lord being as He reviews our lives and judges all our failings and sins, that perhaps He would instead be a deeply sad, disappointed Father with hurt showing in His tear-filled eyes. Perhaps He will look at me as my parents did.

The very idea of eliciting my Lord and Heavenly Father's deep disappointment in my life's behavior is truly a sobering thought. The thought grieves me so that I can only express my thoughts in a portion of a song  -"I Just Want to Please the Lord." Above all else...

"I just want to please the Lord; 

be in His will in every way. 

Just to be lost in His presence, 

found in His likeness, 

to hear Him say, 'Well done,' 

someday."

It's a Gift... No, Really It Is!

The radio is usually playing at work and I heard a song the other day. It said, "God gave me you for the ups and downs. God gave me you for the days of doubt." Regardless of differing opinions on secular music, I think those lines express very eloquently what a marriage could and should be. To me, it's beautiful.

Being a single girl whose greatest dream was to get married and be a wife and mom, when I hear things that express the beauty in relationships, it can make me just a little jealous... OK a LOT jealous... that God hasn't given me any such person yet. I would imagine that I am NOT even close to being alone in that.

So when I faced my Lord with jealousy in my heart about the state of my singleness, He reminded me of something. "Every good and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights..." ~ James 1:17. He reminded me that singleness is a GIFT!

We sometimes look at it like we would a gift opened at Christmas from some obscure relative that doesn't know us very well who gave us something we KNOW we will never use. But God intends it to be received better than that. For most people, the single parts of our lives are temporary; most people do get married at some point. Until that happens, God wants us to enjoy and use the gift of singleness. We shouldn't secretly grimace, say a very fake "thanks" and rush back to the store to try to exchange it for a better gift. It's the gift that God Himself has chosen to give to us for right now.

Whenever something happens to make me jealous, like hearing a song that makes me lonely, seeing another couple form in my circle of friends, or watching another young married couple years younger than me have a precious little baby, I have to apologize to my Lord. I have to ask forgiveness for not appreciating the gift He has given ME. Then I try to count the ways that His gift to me is wonderful in my own life. And believe me there are many when you start to look for them!

Many of the reasons to be thankful for this gift are too personal to share or they wouldn't mean anything to anyone else, but I know and thank the Lord for them. I can share a few though. For example...

• I am thankful that my finances are not complicated by another person. I know what I make and what I spend. It's easy.
• I have complete freedom in setting my own schedule. I don't have to check with someone or consider someone else's feelings or schedule if something unexpected comes up.
• I only have my family to consider around the holidays. I don't have to worry about another person's family wanting to see them but living in different places than my family.

These are just a few and honestly, they are not anything that I wouldn't find worth giving up someday. But for now, I can enjoy them as being a part of God's gift to me for this season in my life.

What about all of you? If you are single, can you think of a way that God's gift is a blessing? If you are married, can you think of a way that you took that gift for granted while you had it? Please share them with me!