So... Now What?

Now I don't know how it has been for you, but in Bible college I always heard, practically every chapel, that "life and responsibility and ministry will be thrust upon you before you know it. You will look back to your college days and wish that you had as much free time as you did then, because life will be so much busier. And it will happen fast! Faster than you think!" For many of my classmates, that may very well have been true, but not for me.

For me after getting settled into a new job, new city, new life after college actually meant I slowed down. A LOT.  Even now almost three years after graduation, I work full-time, work a couple days a week at a second job, serve in several ministries at church, and still somehow wind up with more free time than I ever had in college. This unexpected slower pace brought it's own challenges.

The biggest unexpected challenge that I faced then and still face now is the question, "So now what?" Until graduation from college there had always been a very obvious goal that I was headed towards - graduation. Once everything calmed down after that, the move was made, the new job started, etc., the great calm settled in.

For the first time in my life, the future spread out before me entirely unmapped. I found myself in the middle of a calm sea with no land in sight, no specific goal to head towards, just smooth, still water barely even lapping against the sides of the boat. The bright blue sky above was cloudless except for the fluffy white clouds that formed the words, "Now what?" The words hung there in the horizon as I looked around at the still water and felt like I was going nowhere.

There are simply going to be times in our lives when things get calm. And it usually occurs right after a major victory, a great trial, or immediately following the accomplishment of a major goal in life (like graduation from college, settling into a new city and/or job). After the struggles that come with fighting for a victory, surviving trials, or in the wake of accomplishment, the calm can seem ... well... boring. While the calm can certainly be a relief especially at first, over time it can also become tame, routine, mundane, blah.

What's the next step? What happens now? What goal am I headed for now? What does the future hold? Is this IT? Is this all life is? Is this life going to be my life forever? These are some of the many questions that calm can produce.

I still remember a message from the first week of my senior year of college. I don't remember who was preaching, but what they said stuck with me. The Bible says, "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." Whenever the future looks unclear, uncertain, or dark and clouded with mystery, God promises to light our way if we follow His Word. But it doesn't say that it's a searchlight flooding our future five miles down the road with light and clarity. It says "lamp." Like a flashlight that we shine at our feet, it gives just enough light to see the next step down the road. We will never see further until we take the one step that we can see. After that, the next step will come into the light and we can take that one step.

This begs the question, when life is calm and there don't seem to be any major steps to take, what steps are we to take from day to day? This is what has been on my mind for the past couple of weeks. I have heard many times that if you do God's known will day by day, He will reveal His unknown will in His time. (Kinda like the flashlight...) So more specifically, I have been thinking about what I know to be His will for me right now, day by day.

These are things that I know He desires out of my life right now.

• That I spend time daily with Him reading His Word and praying.
• That I "forsake not the assembly" by attending and serving in the ministries of my church.
• That I spread the Gospel, both to strangers I meet along my way and those who I see everyday.
• That I work to earn the money to provide for my needs, doing my best to glorify Him in the process by having a good testimony with my coworkers, employers, and creditors (those to whom I pay my bills).
• That I be a good steward of money, time, and other resources by tithing, giving to missions, being sure that necessary work is done before relaxing (i.e. not being lazy), having productive hobbies, and being a blessing with the things I have whenever possible.
• That I be a good steward of the body He has given me by eating the right amounts of healthy foods, exercising, getting the proper amount of sleep, etc.
• That I continue to prepare for the future by continuously learning and reading books and articles that will be helpful, encouraging, informative, etc.
• That I fellowship with people who will help sharpen me and encourage my growth in the Lord.
• That I focus on pleasing Him, not my own personal pleasure.
• That I remain thankful and praise Him, not taking for granted the virtually countless blessings He has given me.
• That my speech be "alway with grace" saying holy, encouraging, edifying words rather than gossip, malice, or criticism. 
• That I would be patient and loving toward those who frustrate me and/or in times of frustration, no matter if they "deserve" it.
• That I both memorize and meditate on His Word throughout my day.

To be honest, that list is really, really convicting to me. And though I am very sure that it is still incomplete, it already gives me plenty to work on.

I am learning to patiently tackle the "right now's" one day at a time, 

leaving the "now what's" to Him, 

having faith that He will show me the steps I need to take in His time.

Songs on a Sunday - A Greater Yes

For the last couple of years this song has been very special to me. You might even say that it has been my "life's song" for the last couple of years. I would have shared it sooner, but I actually thought I had already done so and checked back this week and realized that I had not.

I recently came across a quote that kind of sums up the message of the song - “God never withholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God's refusals are always merciful -- 'severe mercies' at times but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better.” ~ Elisabeth Elliot (emphasis my own)

A Greater Yes
by Marcia Henry

Verse 1

It starts with a desire, planted deep within your heart.
You pray in faith, and wait for God to move.
Time passes and you wonder,
Does He hear me when I call?

Should I even have prayed that prayer at all?

 Chorus

You never pray a prayer, your Father will not answer.
He can't ignore His child's earnest request.
While you're waiting and believing
For what you thought was best,
Trust God. If He says, "No"… You're still blessed;
There must be a greater yes.

Verse 2

There comes a time when child-like faith
Must graduate to trust.
Trials come and you're convinced you're on your own.
But the Teacher's often silent
While you're in the hardest test.
But He'll answer when it's time with what is best.
 

Chorus

You never pray a prayer, your Father will not answer.
He can't ignore His child's earnest request.
While you're waiting and believing
For what you thought was best,
Trust God. If He says, "No"... You're still blessed;
There must be a greater yes.

Sometimes God will answer - just like we prayed.
Then other times what's on His mind
Is a better plan, another way, a greater yes.

Chorus

You never pray a prayer, your Father will not answer.
He can't ignore His child's earnest request.
While you're waiting and believing
For what you thought was best,
Trust God. If He says, "No"… You're still blessed;
There must be a greater yes.

Whose Plan is It Anyway? Part 2

My recent post "Whose Plan is it Anyway?" received the following comment from one of my best friends and fellow blog author Jason (check out his blog at www.jasonwarrenemly.blogspot.com):

"Good thoughts on God's will. To add a little bit, one other idea I have heard repeatedly on God's will is you should be afraid of missing God's will, not afraid OF God's will."

I wanted to respond to this comment like I usually do, but I kept having conflicting thoughts. This thought is something that I have heard many times before as well, even preached from the pulpit. But I wasn't really sure what I thought about it. You see, I have also been told by my childhood pastor that I shouldn't fear missing God's will; that He would show it to me in due time.

I have spent time since I read this comment trying to decide what I thought. And I believe that I have sorted through my thoughts on the matter.

1. You should not be afraid of God's will. 

This statement I agree with wholeheartedly and without any reservation. While there will be hard times in my life (just as there are in everyone's life), I do not need to fear God's will. He is a good and loving Father. There will be pain, trials, hard times, etc (Remember Job?) but He only has my best in mind and will ultimately bless my obedience (Remember how Job ended?). Also see Romans 8:28, James 1:17, and Matthew 7:11.

2. You should be afraid of missing God's will.

I agree that as Christians who acknowledge that God has a specific path, plan, way, or will for our lives, it is only natural that we would be concerned with following it. There are many tragic examples in the Bible of those who did not follow God's plan and the consequences they suffered because of it. (Think of Jonah, Samson, King David, Adam & Eve, and the list could go on and on...)

We should be continually seeking God's will. We should be living in constant obedience in what we already know to be God's will. The thought of "going astray" should concern and grieve us. We should fear the consequences of missing out on what God has in store.

Such Godly concern for not straying from God's will is well expressed in verse 4 of the song, "Come Thou Fount."

"O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above."

3. You should not fear missing God's will.

I also agree with this statement. I know you are thinking, "Wait, what?! You just said..." I know that at first glance I may sound like I am contradicting myself, but allow me to explain. I believe that if you are living in constant obedience and daily following God's known will for your life, then He will continue to show it to you step by step, day by day.

I know that there have been times in my life that I was weaker in my faith. I didn't trust God's goodness as I should have. I was picturing God as a stern, harsh, taskmaster who enjoyed watching me scramble around trying to figure out what pleased Him. I knew He expected me to follow His will, but I also thought He expected me to figure it out on my own. I thought that He would only reveal it to me if I begged enough or was desperate enough. I thought that me finding God's will was dependent on me. Basically it boiled down to the fact that I was afraid of missing His will because I was afraid He wasn't good enough to show it to me.

I needed to adjust my thinking of God. In reality, He is a loving Father. God is good! God is loving! He may need to discipline His children but He takes no pleasure in our confusion. Anxiety and worry are sins; sin can never please Him. He doesn't sadistically enjoy seeing us scramble around trying to figure out what will please Him. He is not waiting and hoping for us to fail so He can pounce on us and accuse us. He's not going to play "hide and seek" or make His plans obscure and difficult to interpret.

When my childhood pastor told me not to fear missing God's will, he was trying to remind me of God's goodness. Yes, God does want us to seek Him. And yes, there may even be times when He doesn't reveal everything to us right away. But ultimately He will show us what He wants.

He always has a reason when He chooses to delay revealing His plans. Perhaps we need to learn patience first, or maybe He is checking to see how serious we are. He might simply be testing our motives. I think sometimes He just wants us trust enough to relax and peacefully wait for Him to reveal His will in His way and in His time. He may want us to learn to just "be still." (Psalms 46:10)

So in conclusion I would say, "Be afraid of missing out on God's will; do not be afraid OF God's will. But never fear, He will show you His will in due time."

Whose Plan is It Anyway?

Decisions - we all make them. All day long. Everyday. For our entire lives. They may seem small and insignificant, like what shoes you wear that day, or life-changing and majorly important, like where you live or work and who you marry. But each one affects us. They all play a part in determining where our lives go. After all, where you are today is really just a culmination of all the little and big choices that you have already made.

I believe that God has a plan for each of our lives. How do we know that the choices we make follow His plan? In other words, how do I know what God's will is?

Jason Gaddis, the pastor of my church, Southwest Baptist Church, preached a message on Sunday morning that laid it out so clearly. Most of what you will read from this point on in today's post is taken from my notes on his message. It was a blessing to me and I hope it will be a blessing to you as well.

1. God will never lead you in a path that contradicts His Word. In other words, if God says in the Bible that something is sin, He will NEVER “lead” you do it. If you are praying about something that is called sin in the Bible, and yet you feel “peace” about it, then it is a false peace. You are lying to yourself to get what you want. God is constant and true; He doesn't change His mind about right and wrong.
2. God's leadership will become evident through a series of circumstances. If God is moving in your life, you will see His fingerprints all over the place. We are not talking anything supernatural; everything will still have a human explanation, but it will be evident that it is of God.
   • This does come with a caution, because there is danger in taking this too far. We can read into strange things and see patterns where there are none.
   • It may take time to become evident. It probably won't be in one big revelatory moment. After all, following God is like the choices we make. It is a turn by turn, step by step, moment by moment decision. We follow Him one day at a time, one decision at a time.
3. His leadership will be evident to others around you. While they cannot make the decision for you, God has given you people who have the wisdom to aid you. Your parents, pastor, Godly people that you respect and know you well, and even good close friends can help. It is wise to seek their input and to listen carefully to what they have to say. Often they too will see God's hand moving in your life. And if you are heading in a wrong way, they might even be able to see your motives more clearly than you can.
4. God's leadership will ALWAYS stretch your faith. It will always bring you to a place of further growth where you have to learn to trust Him more. He may even ask you to begin moving forward before the whole plan is revealed. It may take time for all of the evidence to appear.
5. God's leadership will come in your life at a time when you are delighting in God. What is delighting in God? Pastor Gaddis said, “When you are delighting in God, His will is more important to you than your will.”
   • This involves having a submitted, surrendered heart. It acknowledges that sometimes getting what we want could be the worst thing that could happen to us. It takes faith that says, "While life does involve hardship and trials, ultimately God is a good Father who only gives good gifts to His children." He will not give us what we want if it bad for us.
   • This step might be the most important. Because circumstances, the opinions of others, and even having faith can potentially be skewed or twisted to fit our our plans when we want something badly enough. For example: we could misread circumstances to give evidence to something that is baseless. We might ask only people who agree with us for advice. We could tell ourselves that “it just takes faith” when the evidence of God's hand is lacking.

This wasn't in Bro. Gaddis' message, but I think opposition often comes along with knowing God's will. It could be as small, like gentle resistance to simply put something off a little while, or big, like flat-out full-scale persecution. Not everyone around you will understand or agree with your decision. It could involve a lot more work than you expected. It may even discourage you. But take a deep breath, grab hold of your faith, and remember that when God reveals His plan He will provide you with the grace and strength to follow it.

Hurry Up! And wait...

Something that God has been working on in my life for the past several years is patience and waiting on Him. Anyone who knows me probably knows that I am not all about patience. I tend to be pretty task oriented and once I know what I am supposed to do I just go "get 'er done." Right then. Immediately. The sooner the better.

But when it comes to life in general and specifically the plans God has for my life, well, it just doesn't work that way. I think that is something that God has gradually been trying to show me since I graduated high school and set out to fulfill "My Plan."

1. Go to Bible college
2. Meet the love of my life
3. Graduate
4. Get married immediately after graduation
5. Go serve God on a foreign mission field, preferably South Africa in an orphanage
6. Have about a dozen kids of my own

My first clue that perhaps my plan wasn't the same as God's came when I couldn't finish my second semester of college for health reasons - set back number 1. Then I transferred to another school - set back number 2. Then due to the same health reasons I couldn't take all the required classes I needed to take for a couple of years. I ended up taking a total of 6 years to complete my four year degree, but I finished! I could finally check that off the list.

But what happened to step 2? Meet the love of my life? "Umm... God did you forget something? I mean, I even 'gave' you two extra years? I think something got skipped here and it kinda messed up any plans on fulfilling steps 4 and 6." Wasn't I generous? Allowing God extra time to do as I wanted...

Well, since God had already shown me during one of my two junior years that the mission field was my idea not His, my plan was officially laying in ruins at His feet. Which is probably where He had been gently trying to get it the whole time. All I could do was take the pen writing the story of my life and hand it over to Him. And that's where the waiting really began.

I am 26 years old and have no boyfriend, no husband, no kids. I work for a wonderful bank rather than a full-time ministry. I work with 4 year old girls, in nursery, on a bus, and in Junior church rather than with orphans. God's story for my life is turning out very different than I planned for it to be written. There are days I want to grab that pen and write my own story. And there are many, many times when the desire to have my own way rises up and threatens to choke the joy out of my life.

That's when I have to start all over. Here is my new list. Or maybe it's more of a thought process...

1. God's plan for me is the best plan; it will bring me the most joy (not necessarily happiness).
2. I want to have God's unexplainable joy in my life.
3. Therefore I want God's plan, however different from my own it may be, more than I want my plan.

Waiting is not easy. Impatience is deeply ingrained. Deep, heartfelt desires do not disappear or stay surrendered easily. There are times that I may have to repeat this thought process over and over and over to myself  within the same 5 minute span. But it is becoming easier. It's getting easier to say "Not my will but Thine Lord" combined with "though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him." ('Cause I know that God's plans for me will not be void of pain and suffering.) I just have to keep surrendering that pen and have faith that God's plan for me will be written out nice and clear in due time. After all, His timing is always perfect. 

"Blessed Father, we humbly beseech Thee, let none that wait on Thee be ashamed; no, not one. Some are weary, and the time of wait appears long. And some are feeble, and scarcely know how to wait... Father, teach us how to wait...let none that wait on Thee be ashamed!"  (Taken from Andrew Murray's devotional Waiting on God. I saw this quote on a friend's Facebook status and I think it kinda sums up my own prayers on to God about waiting.)